From the T to the D - O,  dizzy jizzy.  For rizzle biaiaiodel-leiatch.

Why is an orange?

Through the teeth and over the gums, look out Johnson, here it comes!!!

Either shit or get off the pot!!

If you're walking down the street in your canoe and your wheels fall off,
how many banana peels does it take to roof a dogs house?

Never blow dry your hair while taking a bath.

If you can't figure out how to use the cup, read the directions on the bottom.

Question:  If the tree falls in the forest, does the bear really shit in the woods?
Answer:  A.)  No, because the tree fell on the bear.
B.)   No, because nobody really gives a shit.
C.)   Yes, because the toilet paper holder fell and the bear had to use a                       squirrel.
D.)  No, because the tree fell in the right hypotenuse of the left
coordinate of the upper exponent, and since the sin of 30 is 0.5, it
landed around Uranus.
E.)  All of the above.

Question:   If you are riding around on your donkey, and someone picks up a rock                 and hits you in the head, and you fall off,does that mean you are stoned                 off your ass?
A.) Yes
B.)  No
C.)  All of the above
D.)  None of the above
E.)  Maybe?
F.)  No, because the guy from K-Mart came out and shut off the ride

If you call your family yor folks, what do you call the white of an egg?

I agree to disagree, I forgot the question.

You can write SIT on your forehead or your chest: It just depends on where you want the nuts.

Don't hit you kids.....No, seriously, they have guns now.

How many ducks does it take to get a dog off?
A.)  One, if it has no beak.
B.)  Two, depending on the size of the dog
C.)  Three, if the dog fell off the wagon
D.)  Four, if the bad moon is rising and the Gemini twins are fighting and                         the oompa loompas have cracks.
E.)  Five, if the dog is road kill.

The NHS regret to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any inconvenience.

One bright morning...
in the middle of the night,
two dead boys came out to fight.
they stood back to back
and faced eachother
drew their swords
and shot eachother.
the deaf policeman heard the noise
and came to kill
If u dont believe my story
its true ask the blind man he saw it too!

don't look at me in that tone of voice

Two blondes walked into a restaurant... You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes

Roses are red, Violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic,
And so am I.